TheJordons.com

Found out the sexes of the twins today.

Ryan Christopher Jordon and Emily Mae Jordon shall be joining us all in @ 5 more months.

Let the clothes shopping begin…

If you’re only going to watch one episode this season, then THIS is the episode you don’t want to miss…

Putzing around with Photoshop the other night - thought I’d try to create something unique.   The eventual goal will be to create a family poster to hang on the wall of the entertainment room, to go alongside the real movie posters we have hanging.

This week I went to Maryland for work.  Once a year we do this.  Normally I drive (that way, I have my own transportation rather than having to share a rental car), but this year, I decided to let the company fly me.  As it turned out, I had no time to meet family and friends, as I worked way too many hours and didn’t get much time to sleep, let alone visit anyone.

We flew into and out of Reagan International Airport.  On the way there, I saw Democratic member of the House of Representatives, Corrine Brown.  She’s a rather polarizing figure here in Jacksonville.  I decided I would get a picture of her, but  I made sure to get a picture that summed up what many folks here think of her - A big ass.

On our way out of Reagan to fly back to Jacksonville, me and a buddy of mine, Jose, discovered we went through the wrong security checkpoint that would not take us to our gate for flying out.  After having to go back and finding the right security checkpoint, the staff was kind enough to let us through, given the previous security folks should have noticed that our gate was not behind the checkpoint when they let us through.

They allowed us to cut in line, right near the entrance of the security checkpoint.  An older gentleman we were allowed to cut in front of noted that we must have been important people.  I answered, "Well, Jose here used to be a member of ‘Menudo’ back in the 80’s.  I was a New Kid On the Block, but now I was an Old Fart On the Block. " He believed us.  I didn’t tell him we weren’t afterwards.

So, as we stood there waiting, Jose says to me, "Dude - look behind you." I did, and this is who I saw -

Mr. Senator from Massachusetts, and former 2004 Democratic Presidential loser John Kerry.  Waiting in line.  To take a commercial jet back to Boston.  My, how times have changed for him.  Either that, or he’s relying on yahoos like me to point out how much of a common man he is pretending to be;  perhaps for his next run for President? 

And I cut in front of him.  I was a Swift Cut-In-Liner Captain.

Last Friday, Steph and I had our first official ‘non-fertility’ OB/GYN appointment.  Nothing really new to report (both are growing great and the heartbeats are on target), other than the doctor’s office there had a kick ass ultrasound setup.  Besides the little monitor attached to the rather unassuming PC setup they used for the actual ultrasound device, they had on the wall a flat screen 36′ HDTV monitor linked to the setup so that the Steph could actually see the scan as it happened. 

The technician doing the ultrasound started doing her business; we started to see the babies on the screen.  Suddenly, she freaked a bit and pulled it away - apparently she didn’t realize we knew we were having twins and asked if we had been taking fertility drugs.  We laughed and said we did.  When she put it back on Steph’s stomach, I feigned shock and yelled, "What?  We’re having twins?  Nobody told me that."

Here are the latest pics - Twin A actually looks like a little baby now, with leg and arm stumps starting to grow.

Twin B has been camera shy since the beginning - this time it’s back was to us.  We believe Twin B is a goth, given it’s moody disposition to having it’s photo taken.  Supposedly one can see the nose where the arrow is pointed.  I don’t see it.

Isn’t it amazing how excited parents can get by pictures that look like smudges?

7:45am - Got up with Jimmy.

8:30am - Steph and Nicole get up.  Happy Mother’s day.

10:15am - Kisses to Steph; she leaves to go to her parents church.

10:45am - Call my parents to say the kids and I won’t make it in time for church.

11:00am - Stop at The Freshmarket to get 2 dozen roses for Steph and some Stilton cheese for me to experiment whether eating some before bedtime gives one strange dreams (Google it if you don’t believe me).

12:05pm - Steph calls to let us know church is over.  I’m strangely not interested in talking to her right then.  I tell her I’m busy doing something and I’ll call her back.

12:05.5pm - Steph cusses me in her mind.

12:06pm - The kids and I sneak up behind her while she’s talking to her family in church.  The kids give her the flowers.  She’s stunned.  She had no clue.  We all trade kisses again.

12:30pm - Steph, the kids and me eat at McDonald’s.  Jimmy gets a Mach 5 in his happy meal.  Jimmy bought a Mach 5 already from the toy store.  Jimmy decides to have us give it to Max (Jimmy’s cousin) when we see Max later that day.

12:50pm - Steph leaves to go back to the house to pick up the Mother’s day gift I forgot to bring for my mom.

1:00pm - I drop the kids off at their momma’s for the rest of Mother’s day.

2:00pm - Steph and I meet at my parent’s house.  Steak dinner with the family for Mother’s day with my Mom.

2:10pm - Notice that the winds outside are pretty darn strong.  Will keep that way for the day into the night.

4:15pm - Steph and I leave for her Mom’s dinner at Steph’s sister’s (Marcy) house.

5:00pm - Max and Audrey entertain us all with their dancing competitions.

6:00pm - Eat another Steak dinner with Steph’s family for Mother’s day with her mom.

6:30pm - 20′ to 25′ tree in front yard of Marcy’s house falls on our car.

6:45pm - Drive the car out from under the tree.  There’s a bit of denting on the driver’s side next to the windshield.  Nothing major and nobody harmed.

7:05pm - Cops show up.  Says they don’t file reports for Acts of God.  (I think in my head I should’ve gone to church that day.)

7:30pm - We head on back home.

8:30pm - I clean cat litter and take the garbage out.

9:15pm - I write this blog entry.

As the future is yet to occur, I’ve got nothing more to write about.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Shit - I don’t know.  Because I can?

I think it’s because I think I’m funnier than most.  Note the emphasis on "I".  I hardly think that anyone would agree with that.  But I think I am.  Perhaps blogging is a way to get those perfect, funny thoughts to speech.

Mulling it over, I see it as a way to put to words the random thoughts that muddle through my head.  By typing out what I think, then editing and condensing (although I’m sure some here would argue that point) those words in front of me, it gives me a way to recite those words in my head as if I’m saying them out loud.  Prepares me to use those words in ‘battle’ in the future.  Debate battle, that is.  Out funny the other funnies.

So - I guess blogging is nothing more than a way for me to read back what I need to say in the future during any conversation.

My blogs are my cue cards.

I’ve been up part of the night, and most of the morning thus far.  Went to bed at 11:00pm - got up at 3:00am.  Work called.  Weird issue, none of us can quite pin our finger on the root cause, and it’s now just turned 10:20am.  Gotta love my job.

Now lie the questions; without knowing when we’ll resolve this issue, should I just plan to stay up?  I’m debating that question over and over in my mind.

Sleep now, shower before sleep, or shower before sleep, then shower again?

Sleep, or get dressed?

Sleep, or make breakfast?

Sleep, or make lunch?

Sleep, or mow the lawn?

Sleep, or fix the garage door opener - again?

Sleep, or keep typing this ridiculous blog entry well after the event itself is over?

Sleep, or finish my 3rd cup of coffee, with 2 Mountain Dews already thrown in for good measure?

It is now 11:22am.  We’re done.  It was not my fault for the root cause - this time.

I think I’ll just stay up and watch some TV until I don’t.  I’m going to make myself comfy on the couch, and sink into it while watching a movie.  I’m wired - tired wired, that is.  You know, the mode you’re in when, "You want to go to sleep but, you find stupid things to do to avoid going to sleep" - tired wired?  That’s me.

I’ll figure out things from there.

1.  When introducing myself to a local team of technology folks just after relocating from Charlotte to Jacksonville for my old employer, I asked one of the folks there, "So - what do you do here? "  Her answer, "I’m working to take your job."  My immediate reply was, "Trust me, when you qualify to take my job, I won’t NEED my job anymore."

2.  While in High School Calculus, our teacher liked to brag about the number of children she had, so as to imply we were nothing compared to what she’s personally handled at home.  She once said, "I’ve birthed and brought up SIX kids in my life."  My reply was, "What do you call that?  A litter?"

3.  Again, in High School, when walking in a class to drop a note off to a teacher, I passed a guy wearing plastic, orange, jelly shoes.  He noticed me looking and said, "Hey - pretty, huh?"  My response, "Yeah - pretty ugly."

4.  While at a bar in Hong Kong, a Frenchmen sat a few seats from me.  Upon hearing my accent when I ordered a drink, he felt it necessary to say the following - "You people.  Americans.  I don’t like your people."  My response, "Yeah, I don’t like some of my people either, but you don’t hear ME whining like a little bitch about it."

5.  A friend had once bought a pair of shoes that he was very proud of.  When we were talking, he tried to start an argument about how much better his shoes were than mine.  I calmly looked at his shoes, then said, "I used to have a pair of shoes like that; then I got a job."

6.  I received an e-mail from the folks managing user accounts one day.  The e-mail stated that an account had been deleted, no one on her team did it, but they needed the account to be restored ASAP.  I replied back, stating before I would restore any account, I would first find out exactly who did it and report it.  After collecting the data, I reported back to the person, "Given the data found in the logs, it is unfortunate to report that you deleted the account.   I have since restored it.  Please continue to let me know if there are any other accounts you mysteriously didn’t delete that need restoration in the future."

7.  Had an e-mail exchange with another group regarding a problem sent to me to fix, with the sender copying the user in the e-mail, thus putting the onus on me to solve the problem.  Based on the problem description, it was not an issue in my realm of responsibility. After engaging with the user to understand the problem, I then assigned the appropriate resources to the issue once I spoke to the client. I replied to the team that tasked me the problem to not ever involve me with any client in any troubleshooting issue prior to my being notified first so as to receive confirmation to my need to be involved.  Their argument to my reply was that after they engaged the client, then sent me the problem to resolve, that he, the client, would’ve had his issue resolved much earlier had I not felt the need to educate them on appropriate troubleshooting and engagement processes.

My reply was this, "Given that the user’s issue was resolved prior to this thread, based on my engaging the client as to the reported problem, there is no need for your concern.  However, had you performed due diligence in speaking to the client to understand the issue before involving me with the client, you would have immediately discovered that the client is a ’she’ and not a ‘he’, as you have so erroneously described.  Next time, pick up the phone and speak to the client to understand the problem and assign the correct resources, rather than doing nothing and tasking another to investigate the issue.  At a minimum, at least get the gender right if you’re going to claim you helped."

8.  While in the Army during AIT, one morning I was the last person to make it down to formation.  A big no no. The Drill Sergeant calmly and very cooly walked up right in front of me, almost nose to nose, and said, "Jordon.  Don’t you feel bad having made your platoon have to wait for you while you took your sweet time making it down here for formation?"  Without a pause, I calmly replied, "No Drill Sergeant.  Not really."

I believe he hadn’t heard that one before, as he laughed and then said, "Okay.  I was just wondering", and proceeded to tell us what we were to do that day.